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30 Ways Jack
30 Ways to Infuriate Jack Darby
1. Put day-old chewing gum on his Sierra shrine.
2. Eat his cell phone.
3. Chew on the blunt ends of the syringes in his mother's medical bag.
4. Run naked through the KO Burger during his regular shift.
5. Spray-paint Arcee with a coat of fluorescent pink paint. Permanent pink paint.
6. Hide in the laundry hamper. When he goes to put away any soiled articles of clothing and opens the lid, pop out and shout, "BOO!!"
7. Send a letter to Starscream that describes completely fluffy uke feelings towards the Seeker signed with the teen's name.
8. Replace his favorite brand of cereal with Meow Mix dry cat food.
9. Program his computer that when he logs on, the video "2 Girl 1 Cup" pops up at full volume and full screen
10. Hug him.
12. Forcibly give him a hickey.
13. In front of the entire school.
14. Hum and sing "The Impossible Dream" (the song used for Miss America pageants and such) whenever he is climbing a flight of s
Leaving Southampton She was in the kitchen when he stumbled in noisily, tripping as he went past the shelves and catching the edge of the table to keep himself from falling.
Pretending not to hear the stream of curses that followed, she kept her eyes fixed on the dishes, letting her hand trail in the soapy water. There was a loud scraping of wood against grimy concrete as he drew a chair and collapsed into it. At this she looked up, and after a moment's hesitation, she said, unnecessarily, "You've been drinking."
He clutched his head and said nothing. He hadn't shaved in weeks and stank of sweat and alcohol; he looked much older than his eighteen years.
They sat in silence for a while. Then he announced, loudly, "Fuck."
She didn't bother to tell him off. She just waited. And jumped when he suddenly brought his fist down, hard, onto the table.
"Our lives here are s
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